I'm going to die soon.

At 7pm my legs were radiating heat despite me sleeping without blankets.

At 7.15pm I got out of bed and turned the fan full blast because I was feeling so hot.

At 7.20pm I felt so cold that I covered myself with the blanket.

At 9pm I woke up and felt like an oven. At 9.02pm I put my right leg on the floor then my left and realised my legs were wobbly.

At 9.05pm I somehow managed to get downstairs to take my dinner.

At 9.45pm I crawled upstairs and felt a sense of breathlessness.

At 10pm my head was twirling and it felt hot.

At 10.21pm (now), I can feel heat escaping from my body despite being in an air-con room.

I'll be dead by tomorrow.

And guess what, even if I choose to die I can't die tomorrow. Cos I have to get myself out of bed to submit that stupid written report. Our group is the only one that didn't hand in today. And I'm supposed to be in bed with a wet towel over my forehead. Why am I still online? Cos of project work. I can't stand it. It seems as if I'm doing all the work you know.

I seriously don't mind doing everything for the members, if I have the time. If I had all the time in the world I'll sit down and type the written report obediently. But I'm half dead now ok. And ta-dah, I have to find out at this moment that I didn't receive any email with the document attached. And you come at tell me now, at 10.25pm that you don't have a backup cos the thumb drive was borrowed from some stranger. And so, am I supposed to solve the problem.

Do you want to blame that stranger, blame yourself for doing last minute work, blame the computer in the computer lab, blame my email account, or just blame me.

So, I shall get myself in school tomorrow with a running temperature, and look at my 3 beloved group members sighing over pw, and listen to one of them complaining that he did his part but it was the fault of the computer.

I had enough of this.

God, please heal me of all this pain and stress and worry. I really can't afford to be sick now. I have to submit the written report tmr, have cell with rachel and yiling on fri, do icebreakers for sat's cell, get guitar admin stuff done, complete MORE written report by sunday, study for chem mock spa and chem test and bio test and do tutorials......

Father, can You please teach me to cast my cares at Your feet and relieve me of my burdens. I want to let all of them go, but what is going to happen after I just let everything go? I think I'm gonna break down soon.

Teach me Lord.